we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
