His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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