the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
