Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
