Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
