Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
