I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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