Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
