he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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