Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
