worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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