You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
