those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
