dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
