This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
