i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize