when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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