She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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