i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
