my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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