The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
