Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
