he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
