Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
