i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
