We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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