I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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