Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
