She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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