True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
