Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
