none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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