i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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