If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
