you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
