he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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