I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
