Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the day after is always just damage control
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
