wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think I am morally bankrupt
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
