I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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