WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
