wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
