i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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