it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
