i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
