Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
