Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
