So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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