Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
