thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize