He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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