I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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