And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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