I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
