i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
