your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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