Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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