You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm sobbing to NWA
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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