problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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