Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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