I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
