it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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