Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My vagina is officially offended.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
