Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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